Misplaced

0407170908~2
Photo by Dana

It has been months since I sat alone in the middle of a busy cafe.  The hum of voices comforts me in a very disconcerting way.  I enjoy feeling the energy of others but yet I am so far removed from the person I was when I frequented these cafes almost daily.  The air seems to crackle with a creative energy that I crave to feed from … yet, my thirst is weak.  I once wanted to share all the fleeting and long-dwelling thoughts that haunted me.  Now, I want to lock them away, even from myself.  

I have been slowly making changes in my “real” life. I now workout at the gym religiously.  Somehow, pounding out 2+ miles on the elliptical while reading mindless trash novels allows me to forget that I’m not pursuing my OTHER goals and dreams.  Sweating through an hour of weight-lifting and abdominal crunches cloaks the discontent that crawls through my veins. I, instead, revel in the small accomplishments of becoming healthier and looking better.  But I avoid the internal mess that is still me.  

I know my smile seems brighter these days and my steps are more care-free … but my eyes would reveal the truth to anyone that took the time to really “see” me. 

 

8 thoughts on “Misplaced

  1. Dana, thank you for being willing to open up to us! So glad you aren’t hiding out anymore. If you put yourself in the way of happiness it will find you. Personal issues can really tear at your heart. I hope that you will use this time to tap into your inner feelings and write! I was able to do that and it helped me heal and left me with a lot of great poems!! Time will heal, but sometimes it takes a really long time before you are back to your “normal self”.
    Thanks for visiting and following me. Check out “The One Who Always Loves Me”.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you so much for your thoughtful and insightful comment(s). I have been writing on and off for a couple of years now. I struggle with “sharing too much”. I took your advice and purchased both books you suggested. I am quite intrigued. And I will most certainly be visiting more often. Thank you!! Dana

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Well, I think you are very brave and very wise to get it out there! Keeping it bottled up inside is toxic to the soul! You might find it helpful to find a small and select group of friends that you can share with offline to a deeper level than you can in comment sections. If you need too or want to talk you can reach me at chucklindholm@hotmail.com.

        So glad you selected those books. I loved them both. Poemcrazy has been a Godsend toward helping be a better writer but especially in finding subjects and how to getting a poem started. I really liked the concept of a Word Bank for words and phrases that hit you. I use one and it has really helped me to take a seed of inspiration from another and get a blossom of a poem from me. Blessing to you.

        Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s